Hawking jokes
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.