Hawking jokes
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.