Hawking jokes
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.