Have jokes
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."