Have jokes
Good Morning! Have a Great Day!
#Ijustwokeup
No wonder some of the phones today have no home buttons.
The makers were orphans.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why can orphans only use Samsung?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why do orphans go to church?
So at least they will have someone to call father.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.