Have jokes
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?