Have jokes

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?

Because their phone exploded the towers.

Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?

Because they don’t have a sister.

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?

Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.

I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!

An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""

"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"

Why can't orphans play on a computer?

'Cause they have no motherboard.

What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.

They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.

There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.

What do pears and emo kids have in common?

They both be hanging.

What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?

Pigs in a blanket.

What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?

There’s no way home.

I just want to say this...

You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.