Have jokes

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

Have you heard of Wendy's?

Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.

What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?

They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say "black paint" anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall?"

Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.

What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?

Why can't two Chinese people have a white kid?

Two wongs don't make a white.

I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.

Why don’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t have a home to go to.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].

If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.