Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Have To Jokes
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black?
