Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car? Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job" Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad), Dad, Ewww, your dick tastes like shite!" Dad: Oh that's right, I lent your brother the car
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Bully: Shut up motherf*cker Me: Well stop talking to me and I won't have to keep f*cking your mother
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away
When you have to fight an emo kid but he brings his friends so you gotta fight the suicide squad. But you gotta get da bois to help you
knock knock whos their boo boo who well you dont have to cry about it gary
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Why can an orphan not do school work? Because they have to take there work home to there parents
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
yo mamma so old that when she farts we have to dust again
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
