Have To jokes

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.

Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.