They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Why can an orphan not do school work? Because they have to take there work home to there parents
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Did you know Africans don’t have to be black
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
yo mamma so old that when she farts we have to dust again
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
