Have To jokes

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.

If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.

What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?

"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"

Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

Teacher: "*stands up*"

Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.