Have To Jokes

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.

My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

The image shows a text message exchange. The first message reads: "It's all good sweetheart, you don't have to worry about me." The response asks: "Sweetheart?" Then a message reads: "Is it okay if I call you that?" The answer is: "You can call me anything you like." The final message says: "Okay Optimus Prime."

Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.

Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

Why did the orphan have to stay at school?

Because they need to leave with a parent.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.