Have To jokes

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.

My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

Did you know Africans don’t have to be black?

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.

Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!

What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

Why did the orphan have to stay at school?

Because they need to leave with a parent.

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.