Have To jokes
What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
Why did NASA have to go to space? Because space is lonely.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
How names were named.
"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."
"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.