This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
Harding Jokes
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What did Eve say to Adam?
"That is rock hard."
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, itâs hard to keep track.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
These people who are offended by rape jokes donât even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isnât making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. Itâs not making light of those, what itâs doing is itâs taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I donât. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I donât agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
