Hang jokes
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
What type of place would Papyrus hang out at?
The SPA-ghetti!
*insert ba dum tss here*
"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"
Dude named Guys:
Dude named Out:
Dude named School:
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."