I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?
A feminist has hair.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
