What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Roses are red He shows no remorse
Santa claus Has joined the terrorist force
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".
If stephen hawking has a heart attack do u take him to halfords or a&e
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title? Finding emo.
You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚 -It has the most stories.
What is the difference between me and a knife?
The knife has a point.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
GINGER!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months. At the funeral, a man see the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man look at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says "who has seen a cock" all the woman raised their hands "no who has seen a cock that is not theirs" half the woman's hands went up "NO NO NO who has seen my cock" all the nuns hands went up
what the difference betwenn a feminist and Kim Jong un? Kim jong un has rights
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
