Guys Jokes

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender I m here to assassinate John Tucker. The bartender replies he’s in the restroom. The hit man goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour. The bartender asks him did u kill him? The hitman replies with a sad face “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour and when I asked him what’s taking him so long he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started”.

Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice. Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth... I don't have any now.

Why did the guy get the hose

Because the girl was smoking hot

Why is a white prison inmate scarier than a black inmate?

The white guy did it

You see this guy's sense bahh If it was a cartoon It would be an avatar Cause why??

Anytime he needs it most It vanishes😹💔

Na only.this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account 😹😹😹

That's if you even have an account 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹

Technoblade was the second worst thing that happened to orphans

Guys they weren’t always orphans

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to burry them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat though.”

WTF is wrong with you guys this is bullying stop it plz but shaenaya sounds like a goodname

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something, a guy walks up to him and says "Whats wrong pal?, don't worry it's not like your on a abandoned Isle!"