Guys jokes
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
W Dad
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
Guys, am I funny?
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣