Guys jokes
What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.
The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"
The man said, "My wife does!"
Join my beta communication community committee commission Cumbria, please guys and girls and gurls. It's all inclusive b&b.
Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!