Guys jokes

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!

You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨