Guys jokes

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.

A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

What do you call a guy with no body and nose?

No body nose

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!