Guys jokes

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Why is Bill the bad guy?

Monica wanted to suck dick.

Why are you guys making fun of priests?

Because you have a suga daddy already.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Ayo fake guy.

Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke?

He won the "no bell" prize.

You guys know BeReal?

BeReal? More like cereal.

Get it? BeReal = cereal.

Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Hello guys!

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.