Guys jokes

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.

I'm evilest-evil man.

"Yes, you are," scared guy.

No, me, it me: Evil super evil boy!

Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.

The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.

The guys show up and the guards shoot them.

The guys die because the guards used real guns.

Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.

Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?

Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!

What does one gay guy say to his boyfriend before he leaves for a vacation?

"Need help packing your shit?"

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?

同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)

Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.

Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."