Guys jokes
Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Guys, am I funny?
Four big guys.
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.