Greeting

Greeting Jokes

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where saint Peter greets them hello sisters welcome to heaven before you enter I must ask you all a question he asks the first nun have you ever touched a penis well she said just once with the tip of my little finger ok dip it in the holy water and you can enter he repeats the question to the second nun well she says I might of held one once ok says st Peter wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter just then there's a commotion down the line one nun is trying to push in front of another st Peter says sister Susan there is no rush you will get in that's fine she replys but if I have to gargle that stuff I want to get in before sister Mary sticks her arse in it.

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher : hi there class my name is Mr. willy i will be yo math teacher *Me in shock Willy* Me : Willy Wonka is that you?!

If you say to someone "have a nice day!" It will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours" They'll be terrified.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old ladies house...

Oh my! Goodness sakes child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both

06/02/2020 3:19 PM Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdfDear Grad Parents,Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.There will be more information to follow in the coming days.Thank you.

(Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

An old lady walks into an ice cream store. Clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today ma'am...we have every flavor you can imagine". Old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says, "Sorry ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have". ""Ok" she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream". The clerk says just a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream". The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?". Finally totally exasperated the clerk says, "Wait a minute lady. Can you spell Van as in vanilla?". "Why of course young man" she says, "V-A-N". "Right" the clerk says, "Can you spell Straw as in strawberry?". "Well of course, Straw", she replied. "Ok then" he says, "Now spell Fuck as in chocolate". She says, "There's no Fuck in chocolate". He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!".

At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"