Greeting jokes
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
Ayo wassup Nicka. AWWWW SHIET!
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!
Hi, bye.
Hello guys!
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
Sup guys, how are you?
Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!
Hi, my name is Moo, what is your name? Moo.
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
What did the emo kid say to the other?
"I like ya cut, G."
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."