"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Good night, boys.
I like goodies.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
"Knife to meet you all!"