Good jokes
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Like This For Good Luck!
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
"Just killed a woman, feeling good."
- Tommyinnit
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Hope this is good!
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
One day Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigar. Johnny said, "Can I have a puff?"
Grandpa said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that day, Johnny saw his grandpa drinking a drink. Johnny said, "Can I have a sip?"
Grandpa said the same thing, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Johnny said, "No, then that's your answer."
Later that night, Johnny was eating some cookies in the kitchen. Grandpa said, "Hi son, can I have a cookie?"
Johnny said, "Can your dick touch your ass?"
Grandpa said, "Yes."
Johnny said, "Good, go fuck yourself!"
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)