Global warming will kill every single person on this planet, It's a good thing I'm married...
Bully: her little Timmy you look like a ugly rat. Timmy: well at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie unlike you. Bully: dies from embarrassment 😱
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
What does the beaten women do when she comes home from the hospital? dishes if she knows whats good for her health
I know the voices in my head aren't real but man so they have some good ideas
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a yo-mama joke.
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife. You pasted between his ass cheeks...
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible! I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my date 😡
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer
Whats the only good thing about being an orphan? All snacks are family sized!
My mom said that being straight is good but if your straight how do you walk so i decided to be gay
Whats the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.
Yo what quacking lacking?looking for a ducking good time?I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill.what happens flied upside down?it quacks up.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
what makes a child an orphan?
their parents left the for good :D
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
BULLY v.s QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a tic tac
Quiet Kid: Thats why your moms breath smells so good. QUIET KID WINS
So a husband and a wife have three kids. the husband is on his death bed and he looks up at his wife and says. "Honey, is our youngest song truly and honestly mine?" She says in response. "I sware on everything that is good and holy our youngest son is your" He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breathe, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
