Gonna jokes
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?