I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.
Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.
Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
