Girls jokes

A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"

The fetus: "lol same here."

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.

Why didn’t the girl like stairs?

They were always up to something.

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”

What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?

Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)

Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!

"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!

Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.

Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.

Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?

There used to be two but now there's one...

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.

How can you tell if Google is a girl?

It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!

Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?

A. The baby girl.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"