Girls jokes
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
A girl said she liked dogs. I called her a bitch.
Me: I call my girl Cinderella.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because she loves balls.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":
"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.
I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD
PS free sex at my name
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Coz she had no arms, bants!
Make this the most liked comment!
(I'm a girl btw)
;)
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(