Girls jokes
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
Me and a girl went on a walk...
Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
What’s worse than a girl getting a period?
A boy getting a period.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."