A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit” girl says “who” boy goes “ my ass cheeks”
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend
911 whats your emergency? Me: Officer My Girlfriend is dead! Operator: What Happened!? Me: She Bit The Tip
What is you main food Me:pizza cause i'm cheesy Friend: Chocolate chips cause i have a lot of friends Girlfriend: donut cause i have a lot of cream
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Roast: What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now. He just moved back in with his mom.
when you accidently choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that its your sister so who gives a f..k
when you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad. Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Girlfriend:I just lost 5 pounds! Me:How many makeup wipes did you need?
WHAT DOES YOU GIRL DO TO ME? SHE SUCKS ME OFF
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
I was in a toxic relationship . After some time my girlfriend died, her name was happy . Still got no clue of her body and here i am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friends girlfriend because she really wanted to go but he just got out of surgery and he said take care of her so I said will do bro I’ll bring her back fuller that a topped up water bottle
If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
