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Parent

Why did your parents abandon you?

Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Water

What's the difference between white people and Africans?.... The white people get water.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat she can't even get in her own car because she's fat.

Memes

Edge

Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?

Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.

Worker

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

Mum

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

Fan

Why does it get hot after a baseball game?

'Cause all the fans have left.

Rent

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

Factory

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

Penis

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.

Toe

What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?

Tan toes.

Christian

What do Christians and gays have in common?

They both say, “Oh God” when they get on their knees.

Sea

So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"

Do you get it? SEArch.