Get jokes

I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

Why are skeletons so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?

She borrows her husband's last name.

1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?

2) Where did all the orphans go?

PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.

When the doctor saw this, he said,

"From Type 2 Diabetes!"

Get it?

Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?

Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.

What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"

Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.

What was the first thing Thanos snapped?

Loki’s neck.

What do gay people get for Christmas?

Discrimination.