Get jokes
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."