Get jokes

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Random person: Why?

You: To get to the idiot's house!

Random person: What?

You: Knock knock.

Random person: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?

Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥

A man was taking a young child into the woods.

The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."

The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."

What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?

Suicide squad.

Why do orphans go to church?

Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."

My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.

Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱