Get jokes
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
ble get get get gettttt pull the glock pew pew pew pew pew thats the silencer BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM