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What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!
There were two guys in an asylum. One was named Kenny, and the other was Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny acting like he was packing his bags. The nurse said, “What are you doin', Kenny?” Kenny said, “Going to Florida for the week.” The nurse said, “Alright, see ya when you get back.”
Next day, the nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny lying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. The nurse said, “What are you doing, Kenny?” Kenny said, “I am at the beach.” The nurse said, “Oh, I forgot you're in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back.” Bob's room was across the hall. The nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. The nurse said, “Goddamnit, Bob, what are you doing?” Bob said, “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny's wife right now, he is in Florida for the week.”
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!
“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”
“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school today? And...
What time is it when you get home?
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?
I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.
How do you get 1 million followers:
{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
What kind of shirts does Sally's parents get her?
Long sleeves.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"