Get jokes
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.