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A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the street signs.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the studio on the other side.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...