Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
Get Jokes
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What did one orphan say to the other?
"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to his owner.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
