Get jokes

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?

A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.

Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?

A. A Notsee.

When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

Is it so? Do people get freedom?

Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"