A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the library?
Because he was too loud with his FLOW.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
What does a pregnant slave and pay less sale have in common Buy one get one free
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Do you know why they call me battery saver I get turned on when it’s below 10
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY
How did Aniken get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A RHYME SCHEME that's all about the BENJAMINS
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the STUDIO on the other side
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his FILLINGS checked
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the BARS
