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Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Why did the rapper visit the bank?
To get his RHYME CHECK.
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.