Get jokes
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
What's the difference between white people and Africans?.... The white people get water.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He couldn’t get to home base.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!