Get jokes
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
To get to the opera.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
Why do dads take time to get?
Milk?
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."