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The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

What is a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

Why can orphans never go on field trips?

Because they can’t get a parent signature.

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.