Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Game Jokes
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
