Funny

Funny Jokes

Orphan

Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Autism

What's the difference between Autism and Gender?

Autism is on a spectrum.

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  • Pilot

    "9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."

    Daughter

    Daughter: Mommy?

    Mom: Hey.

    Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?

    Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.

    Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...

    Sense

    You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?

    Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔

    Wife

    Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

    Monkey

    Roses are red.

    Violets are blue.

    I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.

    Orphan

    What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

    One of them has someone to mourn them.

    Prank

    As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

    Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

    Hawking

    Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

    And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.