Fun

Fun jokes

Tree

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

Son

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

Birthday

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

Game

There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

Hell

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.

Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly."

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."

Trampoline

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

Dare

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Police Officer

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

Penis

What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Watermelon

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Orphanage

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

Morning

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Club

Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!

Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina