Full jokes

What's big and yellow...?

A bus full of kids.

I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.

What do you call a train full of gum?

A chew chew train.

Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

What's the difference between a cop and bacon?

Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is.

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

How do you know it's full?

Because there's not mushroom inside.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.

What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?

A cabbage patch.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?

Your mum!!!

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!

What shows do orphans dream of?

Full House or Fuller House.

What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"