Full jokes
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Memes
What do you call a train full of gum?
A chew chew train.
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!
How do you know it's full?
Because there's not mushroom inside.
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.