Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
a kid was asking a mother for money
mother: sorry I don't have money
the kid kept asking the mother for money
mother: I already told you I don't have money
the kid(the middle child): I'm your fucking child
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actual stands for fuck family.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Fuck you and your shitty family!
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Hell you fuck bitch dick
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white women he chopped her up and put her in the woods the suck fuck.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
