Fruit jokes
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?
The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.