Fruit jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Memes
Don't trust the caption! it's a kiwi...
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.