Fruit jokes
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Who here plays blox fruits?
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:
Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?
Because he wanted grapes.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away. if you throw it hard enough.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.