Fruit jokes
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
Banana!
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!