Fruit jokes
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.