Fruit jokes
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What kind of fruit can fix your toilet?
A plum-mer.
Don't trust the caption! it's a kiwi...
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!