Fruit jokes
I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What’s brown, fuzzy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
What game do Emos play?
Fruit Ninja.
(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Did you hear about the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well, the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Why'd the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.