Fruit jokes
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
Don't trust the caption! it's a kiwi...
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"