Fruit jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A Milano’s cherry.
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?
WhatsApple.
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What do you call a fruit's penis?
A percock.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.