Fruit Jokes

What Do you Call a homosexual in a Coma?

A Fruit & a Vegetable

Ok so i ate a apple and it tasted good

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

What do you call a banana that can dance? CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS

if you get a apple a day what does it give you? Worms and rotten fruit

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

What is a fruit's favorite way to call someone?

WhatsApple.

What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.

what do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce wait do not leave yet if you are still reading this you have been rekt ha ha at least im still laughing.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

I ask my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her how did you do that but there was no response.