Fruit jokes
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
Why did the orange fall off the tree? Because he went out on a limb.
Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.
She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.
I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.