Friends jokes

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

Why couldn't she get up?

She had no friends.

Knock Knock (Who's there?)

Not Sally...

So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.

She told her, "Hey, long time no see."