Friends jokes
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Who would've known?
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.