Friends jokes

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

Anyone wanna chat? I'm new and don't know many people.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Friend: Why?

Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?