Friends jokes

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?

They always hang around.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do cowboys say hello?

Friend: Howdy.

Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?

They fell apart.

What does a gun and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

Two friends fighting.

Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"

Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

I played Uno with my Mexican friend.

That bastard took all the green cards!