Friends jokes
I unfriended Paul Walker on Xbox because he was always on the dashboard.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Roses are red and violets are blue, my best friend is Sue, and she's blue, too.
(meaning sad)
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.