Friends jokes

Add joke

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.

And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"

And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.

Mineta: ...go on...

Denki: Ochako's booty.

Mineta: I don't get it?

Denki: Exactly.

Mineta: *cries T_T*

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

My friend: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂