Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
