Free jokes
I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.
So I got another one free of charge.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
What's a convict's favorite song?
"I want to break free."
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.