Foot jokes
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
Have you ever stepped foot in Stephen Hawking's house? 'Cause he hasn't either.
I think there will be many more jokes afoot! 👣
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
Your momma is so fat, the whole Earth falls down to 100,000,000 ft.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?