So about a year ago I was riding a horse and out of no where the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off I would have been OK but my foot got stuck in the stirrup the horse dragged me along and didn't stop. I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manger who came out and unplugged the horse.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
How do you stop a baby from drowning, Take your foot off it's head.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
yo mamas so hot when she walked into subway she gave me a foot long
Knock Knock who’s there? Madam’ Madam’ who Madam’ foot got caught in the door can you please open it!
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
IF a person walks off a hundred foot cliff and half way down screams why did I do that. Then a second person walks off the same one hundred foot cliff and screams the same verse "why did I do that," then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line" why did I do that" and the next person the same thing. What do you call that? (Stupid People)
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot high piano player? He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish. The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf as all he got was a 12 pianist.
A man ask to play kick the bucket ( not death). The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt.Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other ones foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
