Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, “I’ll have the usual”.

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

once i ate a table… it was food consuming

What’s a cannibals favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men)

white people: come to America, meet natives and take food, kil them, rape them and enslave them natives: can y- white people: hey you remember all that horrible shit we did to you lets have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives

Three friends were stuck in the desert they were struggling and trying to find food when. A they found a magical lamp the rubbed it and out came a genie and genie says “each of you friends get to have one wish” so the first friend said I wish to go home same as the second one the third friend said " I’m lonely I wish my friends were with me"

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and…“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why does he does that my sister said Iove him long time.

I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.

I dipped my hand in red food dye so I said looks like I’ve been caught red handed

what’s an old man’s favourite food

wrinkled onions

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

What’s a downies faviroute food?

Shoulder

I was watching my boyfriends dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with the him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When i looked down, he appeared to be dead. My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn’t know what to do ,so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waiting for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said ,”you know , your dogs been a little depressed lately…”

whats your mums favourite food?

chicken nuggets hAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Kate ate food coloring last night she said she was dying inside

Me and my mom order chinese food. So when it came my mom grab the egg roll and started to sucked it down, then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom say I love you for 5 dollar.

Yesterday I made food using oil- Olive oil (I love oil)

Why does the Greeks and Romans like food. Because food is good for you.

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid, A banana. But if youre vegan you call him food. If youre poor you eat the skin.