Food

Food Jokes

Sister

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

Baby

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Hot Dog

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

Barbecue

Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.

Bacon

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

Meal

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

State

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.

Woman

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?

Several hundred calories.

Diabetes

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

Diabetes

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

Oreo

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

Woman

NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?

'Cause it's a place to eat.

Dad

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.